Maintaining a Long Distance Relationship in Med School

Dear all, I recently received a question from a blog reader about how Irene and I maintain a long distance relationship while we are both in school. I’d like to share my answer with everyone:

Hi there!

I agree. Maintaining a long-distance is not easy, especially during med school when you’re always busy, and in another country, a few thousand miles away. There definitely have been difficult or frustrating times, but Irene and I love each other, trust each other, and work hard in keeping each other happy, even when we are both busy in school, and across the ocean from each other. We accept that there will be challenges, but we both know we are building a greater future together and that a few years of being apart is nothing compared to a lifetime together afterwards.

I’m sure every couple has their own way to deal with distance, but for Irene and I, we reserve a few hours every night to see and talk to each other on Skype. I end my day everyday with Irene. Sometimes we call, Skype, or send text or picture messages to each other randomly during the day, and it just shortens the perception of distance between us, so we can both have a taste of each other’s daily lives at every moment.

Irene’s my number one priority during every break we get between semesters. We always aim to do something fun or special, like take a vacation, or visit each other’s families. Sometimes during the school semester, I would even find a less-busy weekend to go visit Irene, like one of the weekends after block exams.

It’s always good to get your loved one involved in your life. When Irene came to visit me, she met many of my friends and professors here at AUC. And even though she is currently far away, she still keeps in contact with many of them, and feels involved when I talk about my friends because she has met them before. Those friendship connections shorten the distance between our two lives. I have also met and kept in contact with her friends.

I think in many ways, Irene and I have strengthened our relationship over the semesters during this long-distance experience. We recently just got engaged. While distance may keep you physically far away from your loved one, don’t let it keep your lives and feelings far away as well.


4 comments to Maintaining a Long Distance Relationship in Med School

  • Tanya

    Hi Benji,

    Congratulations on your engagement! I understand the struggles of maintaining a long-distance relationship with someone. It is no doubt quite difficult but as you have mentioned, if you love and trust each other, then you are determined to make it work. I maintained a long-distance relationship with my boyfriend (now husband) for four years before we finally got married and lived together. We’ve had our fair share of nay-sayers express their doubts. But as someone told me, they probably didn’t have someone that they loved so much (or had someone that loved them so much) that made them worth the wait. Anyway, love your blog and congratulations!

  • Benji

    Thanks Tanya for the encouraging words! I will definitely keep them in mind… Irene is worth the wait! 🙂

  • mish

    Hey guys, your experiences give me hope.. my gf just went to Cuba to study medicine for 5 years and I’ll only be seeing her once for 2 months every year. i was having doubts about the relationship before I read this.

    I have been dating her for two years of which we stayed together because she had no family… now when she left I felt we will drift apart because we are in different continents. I also felt empty because we did everything together.

    From now on I’m going to keep texting and calling when I can and be supportive since I’m all the family she has in the world…thanks for sharing your life stories. They do make a difference.

    • Benji

      Thanks for sharing your situation Mish. Long distance relationships can be hard, but it is something that can be worked on by both partners. Best of luck to you both.


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